Surviving High School as a Writer

I was a teenage writer. I technically still am (At age nineteen, I have one more year left in teenagedom), but I’m in college now, having survived the dark, desolate whirlpool that is high school. High school is a busy time for everyone. Teenagers are expected to juggle the responsibilities of school, extracurricular activities and sleep, all while dealing with hormones and the struggle of finding their identity. Exactly how is a young writer supposed to squeeze writing time into all of this?

It can be done. As someone who has been through the trenches of high school and come out alive, I can tell you that it is possible. It is possible to write, maintain your grades and have a social life. I wrote HOUR OF MISCHIEF, the MS that landed me my agent, my senior year of high school  during dress rehearsals of the fall musical, without dropping my grades. This fact still baffles me. 

But I managed it. So how can a young writer dealing with the responsibilities of high school find time to write? Here are a few tips.

1.      Time Management- This is kind of a given but when you have a lot of things on your plate, scheduling is key. I knew when the work load got heavier. I knew when I wouldn’t have as much work. I squeezed in writing time around my work, taking advantage of the lighter days. But if you don’t schedule and manage your work load, writing time will be much harder to pick out. Get work done to make room for what you love to do.

2.      Writing Sprints- Get good at writing sprints. As mentioned before, you don’t have a lot of time. When you find time: make the most of it. Write as fast as you can. It might be crap but you are one step closer to a finished manuscript and that’s what counts. Writing sprints help you get as many words possible out of your writing time.

3.      Be Intentional- Your writing time is your writing time. Don’t allow this time to get pushed back by other responsibilities any more than you would allow your homework to get pushed back (though lets be honest, most of you are probably horrible procrastinators. Don’t procrastinate your writing is what I’m saying.) One of my writing times was in the morning. I woke up at 5:30 AM to get an extra hour of writing in before I had to go to school. For some of you, maybe an evening time just before you go to bed, works better. Or maybe an hour after school. Whenever that time is, make sure you spend it well.

4.      Accountability- Have friends and family who understand you as a writer. They are the ones who will keep you going when you hit a rough patch. They will encourage you to write and push you forward. They will give you funny looks when they see you playing video games during your writing time and passive aggressively bug you about it. Writing is a solitary profession, and yet you need to have a support system. The online writing community is great for this as well. When you’re having a busy day, there are always writers on twitter willing to encourage you.

These are four steps that helped me survive high school as a writer. It can be done. So good luck to all the young writers out there. And get typing. Every word you type puts you closer to your dream.

Elsa and Anxiety

So last time I talked about how Elsa, while a good character, shouldn’t be held up on a pillar as a role model of independence. But I want to get deeper into why she is relatable as a character. This is a personal post. I know that Elsa’s struggle can be seen as symbolic as many different real life struggles. But I want to focus today on how well Elsa personifies dealing with anxiety.

I’ve written a post before on my anxiety and also why I want to see it more in fiction (Right here). Elsa, to me, really captured what dealing with anxiety is like. Especially in this scene.

She's literally attacking herself.

Elsa is pacing around, speaking to herself. “Keep it together. Control it. Don’t feel, don’t feel.” And I was struck as I watched this movie for the first time how many times I muttered the same things to myself in the dark when my panic attacks were at their worst. But no matter how many times I said them, the panic only got worse.

Elsa is plagued by fear from an early age which causes her to isolate herself. Fear of herself only makes the power worse, not better. The harder she tries to suppress it, the more it seems to claw its way out. The way she holds herself, hands close to her body, closed off from everyone, is characteristic of a person who just wants to disappear. And that stance was familiar to me.

She tries running away from the issue, which helps for a while. I remember how good a change of scenery was for me when I left for college. I had the longest period without anxiety attacks I’d ever had. But when another one hit me after six months of silence, I felt the supposed strength I’d built up crumble immediately. I hadn’t confronted the problems. I had only stepped away from them and they had lay in wait, watching for an opportunity to strike.

People try telling her to stop the winter (another metaphor for her anxiety) but since she doesn't know how, that only makes it worse. She can't just turn it off. Similar to anxiety.

Yeah... Can't do that so easily

But I had to start looking for other ways to calm myself. I had to look for the hope of the situation. Find things that were in my power and hold onto them to calm my fears of things that weren’t. It was only when I started facing my issues with optimism instead of fear that they started to improve.

Admittedly, my anxiety disorder is mild compared to many. I don’t have to take medication for it. And I’ve gone almost eight months now without a full-fledged anxiety attack. Four months without a close call.

Elsa found her happy ending. I think I’m on my way to mine. Characters like Elsa, while not nessasarily perfect role models, are important for people who are struggling and see no light at the end of the tunnel. It might be just a Disney movie, but it is full of hope.

And hope, I still believe, is the most powerful thing in the universe.

The 'Let it Go' Dilemma- Why you shouldn't Want to be Elsa

It’s been almost a year since Frozen blew into theaters, smacking the world full in the face with catchy songs that wouldn’t die for months to come. It was a force of nature, becoming the second highest grossing movie that year, second only to Hunger Games. It broke the record for the highest grossing animated film of all time. And, according to some, caused the polar vortex with the sheer force of its popularity.

Or maybe that was climate change. In any case, it was one mega hit. At this point, everyone has talked about it. It seems kind of redundant to discuss at this point. But with Frozen now crossing over with Once Upon a Time on ABC, and a million little girls buying Elsa costumes for Halloween, it’s clear that the Frozen craze hasn’t died out. It has persisted on. And that’s great, because I love Frozen. But I think sometimes people focus on the wrong elements. Namely Elsa.

So today, I want to talk about something a bit controversial: Why you shouldn’t want to be Elsa.

Now I should mention, I don’t hate Elsa. Elsa is an excellent character. She’s well written and complex. Beneath her beautiful voice, she has layers. She is also a relatable character. The struggles she goes through can be representative of a lot of real life struggles.

What she is not is a perfect role model. She is not a pillar of independence either. And she is not supposed to be, but I feel a lot of people look up to Elsa in a way that they… shouldn’t. What do I mean by that? Well, let’s look at Elsa’s arc throughout the movie.

Elsa’s Journey

Elsa starts out as a girl enthused with her powers over ice and snow. The abilities she sees as normal are called into question when she hurts her sister, Anna, by accident. Elsa is then locked away from the world by her parents in order to protect her but this only compounds her anxiety and fear of herself. As a result she grows up into an unstable, emotional wreck of a person hidden under a thin veil of control.

The control snaps and Elsa runs. It is in isolation that she finds she can use her powers without fear and she ‘lets it go’ in the most remembered moment of the movie.

And here’s where we spy the problem. Most people get stuck at this part of the movie. The ‘Let it Go’ part. A lot of people see this as an anthem of independence, especially for girls. A statement that Elsa is strong and can stand on her own and shouldn’t be forced to suppress who she is. This is the song everyone belts with glee.

But here’s the funny thing about ‘Let it Go’. Given its placement in the movie… it isn’t a happy song. Elsa thinks isolation away from everyone is the solution to her problem and she is wrong. If this song was at the end, it would have had different meaning. But here, after Elsa has fled her home in favor of a life apart from everything she has ever known, it’s kind of sad.

“But how can it be sad,” you ask. “Elsa seems so free while she sings it. She’s smiling and relieved.”

That’s just what makes ‘Let it Go’ so complex. Elsa thinks she has found the solution to her problems and she is relieved. But it’s only a temporary solution. The fact that she would consider isolation as a step up from what she had is incredibly sad. She’s just avoiding the problem further like her parents did. Her parents locked her up. Elsa does the same thing on her own terms. And neither of these things was the right thing to do.

Let’s continue to follow Elsa’s journey. After she sings this rousing anthem that everyone focuses on, Anna finds her. And it turns out Elsa is still consumed by fear. She’s afraid to be with her sister. And after finding out the consequences of running away, she has a break down and hurts her sister again. Only this time, the damage is worse.

Later, Elsa is captured after almost being crushed by the chandelier of her ice palace. She breaks out and once again tries to run, not believing that she can take care of her sister. After being told that her sister is dead, she gives up and is ready to die. It is only Anna’s act of true love that saves Elsa and Anna herself. And then Elsa discovers the true answer to her problem. Not avoiding it. Not using fear to try to control it. But love.

That is the answer to this movie in the end. Not independence but love and community. This is not a movie about independence. It’s about going the distance for the ones you care about most. It’s about sacrifice. And it’s about the power of love. That is what allows Elsa to be who she truly is.

You see, we shouldn’t want to be Elsa. We should want to learn from her.

Elsa is relatable. A lot of us have been in a place where we feel alone. And we think the easiest solution is to stay that way. I think a lot of people latch onto ‘Let it Go’ as a confirmation of what they already believe. ‘I should just be independent and stand on my own and that’s the solution’. But that’s not the true meaning of Frozen. Like so many Disney movies, it’s about the redemptive power of love.

Now, Anna isn’t a role model either. Like Elsa, she has her flaws and her problems. That’s what makes Frozen so great. The characters are so very human. Relatable rather than examples to be followed. Characters that go on a journey that we should learn from.

The thing is, I am like Elsa a lot of times. I’m like Elsa during ‘Let it Go’. But I don’t want to be. In the end, what I want and need is my family and friends. I need a community. I need to acknowledge that I can’t do it on my own. And that’s what Elsa needs.

That’s what all of us need.

Lessons from Anime: Baccano and Elfen Lied

This is a new segment I’m doing about lessons I’ve learned about writing from watching anime. I have a lot of influences on my writing but I’ve come to realize that some of my greatest influences are my favorite Japanese cartoons, more so than American fare. There’s something about the tropes and characters of Anime. They can get away with a lot more. Take more risks. And they have a lot of zany plot lines that would never fly in American TV shows. I like them for their creativity and they can teach a lot of things about pacing, tone and character.

In this case I want to talk about violence and tone. Violence is one of the more accepted pieces of shock value in America. As a result, it seems we’re rather desensitized to it. Violence is sometimes handled in an interesting way or used for commentary. Other times, blood and gore is used for horror and shock value. One of these methods is more effective than the other, as shown by these two very juxtaposed shows.

Elfen Lied, a show about young mutant girls known as dicolnyus, cursed with horns on their heads and invisible arms that can tear through just about anything. The show is presented as horror and tries to shock and scare with great fountains of blood.

This picture looks pleasant doesn't it? It is a lie.

And there is a lot of blood. Rivers worth. So much that it completely desensitizes you to the death of humans and loses the effect it is intended to have. It is a horror anime that fails at horror because it assumes that gore is somehow scary no matter how many times you show it (It also has nudity and other creepy, sexist things by the truckload but that's something for another time).

Then there’s a little anime called Baccano, an action anime set in the great depression era.

Look at that beautiful cover :)

It’s about a lot of things, including but not limited to: turf wars between mafia families, alchemy and the people it happened to make immortal, an assassin called the Rail Tracer and a mute, knife wielding girl he falls in love with, a crazy guy named Ladd Russo who really just wants to have fun (and by that I mean murder), a newspaper that takes their job very seriously (seriously enough to keep guns in the office), a group of bomb makers led by an adorable wimp named Jacuizzi (No, really) and two thieves who are notoriously bad at stealing but who have enough heart and laughs to get them through. This is a packed story told over three different timelines. And there happens to be a lot of blood. The show seems to have an odd obsession with de-fingerings in particular.

It also has this cutey :) Never drop the fedora, Firo

But what makes Baccano better than Elfen Lied? It’s not trying to shock you. The feeling I get while watching Baccano is like that of a kid watching Saturday Morning cartoons. It’s loud, it’s fun, and it’s completely insane. It’s bloody, but that doesn’t matter. You’re not watching for the blood. If it was just a bunch of shocking deaths, no one would care. You’re watching because the characters are hilarious and interesting and you want to know what happens to them. It also has an awesome, jazzy soundtrack.

And that right there is the kicker. Shock value alone cannot carry a story because eventually it stops being shocking. If you don’t have a strong plot and a likable cast of characters, you have nothing. That’s the lesson I take away from these animes. No matter the level of blood, it’s the characters that shed it who count.

Of Young Writers, Fantasy and Alien Babies.

Greetings internet!

I have returned from my long slumber, at long last. For those of you who didn't know, I was basically away from the internet for most of July. Why? Well the first ten days I was on a cruise with my family in Alaska (Which was amazing. Don't worry, I'll have a separate post for that). But the day after I got back I packed up again and headed off to Shared Worlds Creative Writing Camp in South Carolina. Its a creative writing camp for young writers from ages 13 to 17. For three years, I was a camper. This year, I came back as a Residential Assistant.

A little background on this camp. When I was a young lass, only fifteen years old, I was still an obsessive writer. But I didn't know a lot of people who shared my passions. To remedy this problem, my mother searched high and low for a creative writing camp that might inspire me. She found Shared Worlds, a fantasy writing camp where campers band together to create their own worlds and write stories within them over the course of two weeks.

This sounded like heaven to a young Aimee. A safe haven full of other geeks and writers? Sign me up! I got there and it was everything I expected it to be and more. I made so many friends and met and interacted with a ton of amazing writers in the fantasy genre. Not least among them was Jeff Vandermeer, one of the founders of Shared Worlds. You might have heard of his books. I mean, Stephen King tweeted about ANNIHILATION, the first book of his 'Southern Reach Trilogy'. Which is awesome.

I got fantastic feedback on my writing while I was at this camp, and after my first year, I returned twice more before I became too old to go back. It was a sad day. Because I can safely say Shared Worlds changed my life. Without it, I never would have written HOUR OF MISCHIEF, the book that got me my agent. That combined with all the amazing experiences I gathered and people I met made those two weeks I spent at Shared Worlds for three years some of the best of my life.

And this year, I returned as an employee of the camp. I was able to work with and interact with the kids. I had the joy of seeing them light up when they talked about the worlds they were building. On our trips to the Hub City book store, I got to shove books in their faces and insist they buy them. And in most cases they did because these kids consume books like air. Some nights in the common room, they sat around me eagerly asking questions about the publishing industry and my own journey. These are kids who love to write and want desperately to get better.

One of the best parts of the week came on the last Friday. We had a huge stockpile of books donated to us by various publishing houses. When I went to Shared Worlds we didn't have a lot of donations and most of the books weren't very interesting. This year we had tons of books. Tons of good books too and ARCs! We stacked all of the books (over 300 of them) on two tables at the bottom of the theater where we met. The fifty seven children, all jumping in their seats, eagerly awaited the buffet of words. Row by row we let them run up to the front and pick three books--just three--in a span of three minutes. They got to do this twice. Every kid got at least six free books and it was AWESOME. Who cares that they had no way to fit them all in their suitcases? They found a way! Young readers like that always find a way.

It occurred to me, watching them, that this is why I write. For the reader that comes along and snatches a book to their chest as if its a priceless treasure. For a reader that has their friend hide a book they are eyeing under a stack of other books so that no one else will take it before they get the chance. For the reader who sits late into the night, falling in love with paper and ink.

I write for myself first. Because I love it. But in the back of mind, there has always been a dream. I have always dreamed that one day, my books will be in the hands of a teenager who can't stop grinning as they walk to the check out line of Barnes and Noble. I have always hoped that one day, someone might read my books late into the night. I've always wanted to use writing to make people laugh. To make people cry. To make them fall in love.

To make them feel.

This is why I write. And the campers at Shared Worlds reminded me of that. They are all budding authors and I hope one day their query letters will flood the inbox of my agent and of other agents. I'll be cheering them on.

Thanks to all the amazing authors and organizers at Shared Worlds and to the campers for being so awesome. And if you know a young writer who loves fantasy, TELL THEM ABOUT SHARED WORLDS. Do it. Like right now. It might be one of the best things that has ever happened to them.

That's what it was to me. That's what it still is and will continue to be for years to come.

Slushpile Musings: The Importance of Tone

Not too long ago on Operation Awesome, I talked about voice and how it’s a difficult, undefinable aspect of writing. The super glue that holds all the other parts together. Well, this is true, but I think that superglue is a mixture. Voice is one of the ingredients but another ingredient is TONE.

Tone, to me, is even harder to define than voice. Tone is basically the feel of your book. The mood it creates for the reader while the pour through your story. Its not something they necessarily notice, at least when its done well. Effective tone blends into the story. Readers only really notice tone when it makes a mistake. That is, when things are tonally dissonant.

Let’s go to Disney for the best example for this. Anyone remember this movie?

Yeah, its dark for a Disney movie, isn’t it? In the first few minutes alone, a woman is murdered on the steps of a cathedral and the villain Frollo almost drops her baby down a well. And the rest of the movie is pretty dark as well. The villain song is about unquenchable lust driving Frollo into madness. He burns down half of Paris looking for this one woman. In one scene, he tries to trap and innocent family in their home and burn them alive. It’s a lot of heavy stuff for Disney.

But then there’s these guys.

I hate these guys. Because they don’t fit with the serious tone of the situation. They crack jokes but they don’t feel right. Its jut a little awkward that their big musical number takes place while PARIS IS BURNING. 

This is what tonal dissonance is. When something feels out of place, people notice. Whenever something is in place, people don’t. They aren’t distracted and its as it should be. Tone is kind of like the tech crew of a big musical. They do a lot of important work back stage and keep the show running smoothly. But if you notice them, it takes you out of the experience.

Ask yourself, “What is the tone of my work and progress? Am I going for a serious or frightening tone? Or do I want a light-hearted, quirky tone?” Then make sure you stick to that. You can have more than one tone in your novel (in fact you probably should) but there has to be a transistion in order for us to buy it. I mean just look at the first Harry Potter book compared to the last one. That’s a big shift. But J.K. Rowling was masterful in the way she handled it. We barely even noticed the shift. We just went right along with it. That’s good tone.

This is not

World Building (Is hard)

This past week I did a major edit of my novel to get it ready for submission to editors. It ended up taking me quite awhile. I added two new scenes and had to go through each chapter to make sure every little detail was in place. No, this wasn't a line edit. It was something far more difficult.

A world building edit.

I did not make this book easy for myself when I set the story in this world. The religion is complicated, the plot even more complicated and don't even get me started on the map (Which is in a clock, by the way. If this book ever gets published, brace yourself for clock puns). Its not an easy world to ground a reader in without an info dump.

Never in my life have I had to so meticulously try to avoid info dumps. I have used ever possible venue to try not to be boring when I dispense important world information. I inject a lot of humor into the situation. I add banter. I put an action scene in the middle of the explanation so that the plot keeps advancing. I feel like an acrobat doing jumps and contortions around the inevitable info dump.

Any writer of fantasy knows: world building is hard. Its hard because you don't know how much information is too much. Its hard because there is a time and a place for each element of the world to be revealed and it must be revealed at exactly the right moment. Its hard because the reader must feel absolutely grounded in the world in order to go along with the plot and characters.

Sometimes we really just want to sneak in a chapter on 'everything you need to know about my world before we continue' similar to the chapter on whaling in Moby Dick or 'Concerning Hobbits' in Lord of the Rings. Why can't we just go Victor Hugo on the reader and say, "Enough with the story! Time for a history lesson on the Battle of Waterloo! You don't want to hear about the detailed back story of this nunnery or the construction of the sewer system in Paris? Well too bad! I'm Victor Hugo! I can do what I want!"

Alas, we are no Victor Hugo, and we are not allowed the grace of an info dump. So we must delicately weave the thread of our world into the tapestry of our novel, hoping that we are giving just the right amount of information. For all my writing friends out there trying to write in a unique fantasy world, keeping soldiering on. Its an uphill battle your fighting, but it will all be worth it if you get it just right!